The Chocolate Gene

“What does it feel like to crave chocolate?”

I’m a little bit mortified to admit it, but my wife actually asked me this recently.

When somebody asks this kind of a question, it tells you a lot. Don’t get me wrong—Laura is a wonderful person. But she has one congenital defect and that’s an obvious lack of a chocolate gene.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t really explain to her what it feels like to crave chocolate. Perhaps other chocolate fanatics out there can empathize with me. It’s just a fact of life for us. It just is. It’s like telling a blind person what “blue” looks like. You just can’t do it.

I’ll share another conversation I had with Laura many years ago. Again, this one was equally mortifying:

Dan: “What kind of chocolate do you like?”
Laura: “Um, I like vanilla.”

I was speechless (for once!). Vanilla? What is that? Could it ever work between us?

Coming up: One Month of Chocolate Abstinence

Related Posts:
The Greatest Chocolate Mousse in the World
The Chocolate Gene


Kevin Jones said...

I'll side with Laura, though I certainly wouldn't have answered, "vanilla".

I do enjoy the occassional chocolate with curry or cayanne pepper. I'm no purist, so a little zip in my chocolate is fun.

dan pisacano said...

I find this entire line of discussion is offensive. People who suffer from chocolate indifference (CI) have been harassed for long enough, and your recent post is just the latest in a long string of affronts to human decency.

With disgust,
Daniel Pisacano

Michael said...

I can't say I have the chocolate gene, but I will say that my mom has a very strange mutation, which might actually be a purer / truer form of oneness with chocolate that what you described.

She limits the amount of sugar in her diet as much as possible. So, her preferred method of intake is to take bakers' chocolate and melt in hot water and then down it as an Aztec might have.

She also found out that you can buy bars of chocolate with varying degrees of cocoa: up to 80%, 85% or even higher. Her gene mutation leads to her eating the most bitter chocolate you could ever imagine.

Michaela said...

I am with you....I'm sure that those of us with the chocolate gene are far more numerous!! My family's chocolate genes are very much in's the Belgian blood!! Not a day goes by without the enjoyment of a little chocolate - usually Pure Chocolate, and just a small, yet regular indulgence, normally after dinner as my husband enjoys his coffee....Thank you for your comments on my blog maybe we can exchange links??
Who are these people with no chocolate they realise what they are missing in enjoying REAL CHOCOLATE....the bitter, 70% kind is what we like best. We do not eat commercial sugary chocolate confectionery...yuk


Daniel Koontz said...

I think I'm going to stage a protest at the next NAACI meeting. Fools. You don't know what you're missing.


Daniel Koontz said...

I MUST try this. Oneness with chocolate. It would be like becoming pure energy.

Thanks for the idea!

When you see 20 posts in one day from me (with most of them about chocolate), you'll know I tried your mother's recipe. :)


Daniel Koontz said...

You're not the first Belgian I've met who had the chocolate gene. I think I need to live there someday... :)